Positive view

I am legit the most easily influenced woman ever. Like, for real. Even myself realise that but I can't help it. But anyways- the main reason for today's post is.......

I have been watching Evelyn Ha's vlog on YouTube lately. The interactions between her and her two sisters menghiburkan aku. Their sassiness, and sometimes dumb things they did are really something. Somehow, it makes me want to actually spend time with my sisters and do shits like that too hahahha

Back then before entering Uni, I don't really spend my time with my sisters (or family) that much. I don't know, back then I can't see the point of spending my precious time with them. I used to enjoy doing my own things at home, not talking to my family because apparently my siblings doesn't know how to speak nicely to each other. There are always insults in between the sentences every time we interact.I was (or maybe still are) the most sensitive person in the family. And I am known as the most hot-tempered in the family, even the tiniest thing would make me mad, I would literally scream at whoever yang trigger aku. My parents would always ask me why I am 24/7 mad and easily get irritated and stuffs like.... I dunno. They even think of getting me berubat or something, they thought something is wrong with me. Back then my mom selalu tanya why me and my siblings are always fighting, why can't we be nice to each other hahahhaha. My dad selalu cakap "macam mana lah korang ni bila ayah takde nanti" :')

Okay back to the main point of the story, I guess to avoid myself from fighting my siblings and getting nagged at because of my temper, I tend to not talk to them. Yelah, what's the point of interacting kalau in the end akan bergaduh en??? Like I really hate how my siblings tahu betapa baran nya aku yet they would still trigger me every freaking time!! Making me mad is fun for them.... and I really don't like them for that....

But in 2017 (I guess) I came accross Stephanie choi's video. Specifically this video:

I started to subscribe to her channel, I can't remember what attracts me to do so but yeah I did. Then I watched her vlog and stuffs. Pastu cam ada this one vlog pasal dia and her siblings. They looked really close weh, she even helped her younger brother buat homework. Aku? Jangankan tolong buat homework, bercakap dengan adik aku pun aku benci hahahahha! Watching the video, aku mula question diri aku. Kenapa adik-beradik aku tak macam ni? They looked genuinely happy as they interact with each other tapi kenapa all I think about my siblings are I really don't like them and they annoys me so much. I don't enjoy spending time with them.

Pastu cam, I started to think yang maybe if I give it a try maybe one day I would feel this too, genuinely happy bila spend time dengan my siblings, my family. So I did, aku cuba to be nice to Misha, I once randomly asked her if she have homeworks to do and if she needs my help, etc. But that bij rejected me hshshhshs

But anyways, lama kelamaan it just naturally came to me. The feelings of loving the times spent with my family, I started to realise how important my family are to me, I started to enjoy the moment when all of us gathered together.

The point is, honestly aku rasa macam videos yang tunjuk the bond of a family, the fun shown in the video actually helps in some way for those yang ada problem dengan family dorang. Idk? Sebab some of my friends ada confessed yang they don't really care about their siblings and that they felt awkward with their siblings. Ada juga yang prefer spending time with friends rather than their own family.

Hearing that, I don't know la.... it makes me feel sad. Aku family person dohh. I really do enjoy spending times with my family and hearing that there are people out there who doesn't feel or have the privilege of having a happy family, breaks my heart. I mean, I'm not saying that my family isn't problematic and stuffs lah but despite the problems, I really do treasure all the time spent with my family. Everyone should feel happy being around their family.

I guess vlog showing family's relationship actually ada faedah lah.... Hahah I don't know at least it benefits me in some way because it made me change how I think about my family. Buat aku rasa macam nak cuba untuk jadi baik, being nice to them and not hate my family that much. It makes me want to have a good relationship with my family.

Aku terfikir pasal ni sebab ada this one time my friend tweeted "what's the point of doing on showing good or fun things on social medias when it's all fake." or something like that. Well, from my point of view, not caring about keikhlasan and stuff s disebalik apa yang seseorang tu post, dari post tu there's actually something that would benefit the public. I guess?

For example, video tunjuk dia menderma or buat baik kan, we don't know niat the person posted about it kan, I mean bukan kerja kita untuk judge the sincerity the person, but the fact that someone is doing a good deeds, doesn't it make you wanna do good things too? At least for me, bila aku nampak orang buat baik, aku rasa macam nak jadi macam tu.

Tengok video orang post pasal family fun fun je kan, benda tu buat aku rasa macam aku nak macam ni juga. Aku nak ada perasaan sayang dekat family and suka spend time with them.

It is all about how you view it sebenarnya. Nampak orang cerita dia buat baik, instead of kau persoalkan keikhlasan, why not kau fikir untuk buat baik macam tu juga? Nampak family time fun fun orang lain, instead of hating your family and thinking that you would never experience it, why not kau cuba untuk jadikan your family macam tu? Like put an effort to make the relationship enjoyable.

Cuba untuk tengok sesuatu tu dalam sudut positif, and maybe you'll find the happiness :)